idhren amarth
by icyspring
Summary: rated PG13 for language.. a girl gets dropped into M.E (yes yes it's been done before~) rating might change~ maybe not~ set during FOTR~ NOT mary sue~ she may have a purpose in M.E. besides bothering the fellowship~ R+R!!


I DO NOT OWN LOTR!! I might have grammar mistakes~  
  
Chapter 1  
  
I always hated writing essays, and now I have to write a stupid college essay thing~about my boring life. damn.yea yea~ that stupid saying about how "everyone has a story to tell ~~" Oh tell those people to go and stfu..I never had any tragic happenings or adventures or any HAPPENING that made my life special.. Okay~ to start off..I'm nothing special. I'm not beautiful and definitely not girly.I hate guys.especially guys my age that either act really immature or have 20 girls drooling all over him.I could probably make an aquarium out of that pool of drool.I'm very plain..in fact I'm so plain and average that I earned the nickname "plain girl". I go off subject very easily..I'm sadistic, sarcastic, and I have very short temper. I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers that are older than me.I blend into the crowd so well that I could be easily forgotten, which happened very often when our family went to crowded places. wow.VERY INTERESTING.Damn even a tree's life would be more exciting than my stupid life...that clutter of ideas make no sense to me whatsoever..oh well let the colleges decipher my jumbled code when they read my stupid essay.  
  
  
  
1:00 a.m 'Damn it.I spent 5 hours on this piece of sh*t?' I straightened out my back and stood up to stretch out my arms and legs.. 'ow..my rump hurts from all that sitting.' I stood up to go to the bathroom when I heard a sound from outside.'oh sh*t.what the hell was that?' I looked over to the window. I opened the door to my balcony and stepped outside. 'Damn.the wind is blowing hard. what the hell was that sound again?' I stepped closer to the balcony railing to take a closer look at whatever that thing.was. 'who would be crazy enough to be outside in MY back yard in this weather? Sheesh~ what an idiot...' I leaned over 'can't see anything ~ a little more then maybe I can see.whatever that thing is'..then suddenly I felt a strong gust of wind lift my body  
  
"AHHH!!" I felt myself lose my grip on the railing..and fall into.... an endless pit?????then I blacked out.  
  
"oh sh*t~ I think I broke my leg.damnit." I said to no one in particular (hey shut up.I like to talk to myself)  
  
'Ow ow.my leg.ow..it still hurts'.I tried standing up~~ 'WHEW~ I guess it isn't broken afterall..'~ I looked around to see '.a FOREST?? WTF.. when did my backyard turn into a forest???AND when did it turn into a bright sunny day all of a sudden??? Uh..I'm definitely not in Kansas anymore~.damn where the hell am I??' I cursed silently to myself for falling off the balcony. I walked around trying to adapt to the light surrounding. Suddenly I heard rustling in the shrubs nearby and decided it was rather safe to be up in a tree..  
  
I lifted myself from the ground onto a nearby branch. I watched as two men stepped into the clearing.  
  
"Someone was here and they haven't gone far Aragorn." A blond guy said. WTF? Why was he dressed in tights?? Hahahaha what a blockhead~ he had serious mental problems.was this guy gay or something? Why was his hair so long? He sure looked like a girl but sounded like a guy.hrm.maybe he was a transgender. Another guy came by him. He had brown hair and had almost the same type of clothes as the blondie.~ oh well he's not as gay as the blond dude. My stupid foot decided it was a good time to fall asleep and I couldn't feel the blood flow through my feet.  
  
I tried straightening out my leg as quietly as possible when that stupid gay guy decided to look up the tree and directly where I was sitting.  
  
"OH SH*T!" I jumped out as I tried to regain my balance and run away. I ran as fast as I could trying not to trip over those retarded roots that stick out everywhere. I looked back to check if I outran them when I see the blond guy catching up fast.  
  
"AHHHHH!!! I'm TOO young to DIE!!!" I screamed on the top of my lungs to attract attention from NORMAL people who were around.  
  
"M'Lady, we would not hurt you or harm you in any way." The blond guy said right behind me.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHH!! A GAY GUY IS CHASING ME!!!!!" I screamed even louder. "HEY DUDE I'm NOT A GUY!!! I'm a GIRL! Go make love with that rugged dude!!" I yelled even louder trying to revert his attention away from me. It wasn't working..  
  
I veered off course and went crashing into the bushes. Whew~ maybe that guy won't catch me here. I looked back to see if he was gone.and~~~ YES!! I always win! Woo hoo~ I'm free from the gay guy! I saw the same two men run to where I was hiding. If I was any more closer I could've touched their shoes.or are they boots? Ah~ whatever~  
  
"Legolas! Did you find her?" the half gay guy asked. What kinda stupid name is Legolas? man.his parents must've been on something when they were naming him..  
  
"No, she had disappeared into the trees, Aragorn." Geez Louise.both their parents must've been on something..what kind of blockhead will name their children legolas and aragorn? Ah~ whatever~ none of my concern.  
  
"Gandalf had wanted us to catch her. I guess we'll have to tell him that we lost her." That blond Leggylulu thing or whatever said. Who the hell was Gandalf and why does he want to catch me? Is he their boss or something? Then it came.. The biggest most loudest sneeze that I could conjure up.  
  
"DAMN IT!!" I cried as I jumped out from the bushes.This time the blond gay guy was quick enough to catch me and hold me in his arms. I tried to struggle away from these weird freaks when I saw an old man with a funny looking hat come up to me. Little tiny children looking things with hairy feet was catching up to him and looked up at me with eyes as big as saucer pans.  
  
"So you have finally caught her Legolas? We need to ask you a few questions m'lady." That old guy said. Damn!! What is this place? Some kinda weird freaky circus? Do they want to recruit me in that freak circus~ nuh uh~ no way~ even if I'm a little freaky myself I'm NEVER joining a freak show!  
  
"NOOO!! I'M NOT interested in joining your freak show circus. So can you please let me go?" I pleaded with my best puppy eyes I can give them. That Gandalf dude looked at me with a confused expression on his face.  
  
"Excuse me? A circus? What is a circus?" He asked with a REALLY confused look on his face.  
  
"If you let me go I'll tell yah~" I said.  
  
"Legolas you can let her go now~" Gandalf said and immediately I felt his hands loosen around me. YES!! My chance to ditch this circus!  
  
"See yah losers!! HAHAHAHAH~!!" I laughed triumphantly as I sprinted down the forest. I looked back to see if they were chasing me and saw that no one was. I finally slowed down and came to a stop in front of a humongous.I mean GIANT tree.  
  
"guess I'll sleep here today~" I said to myself as I started climbing. Branch by branch I pulled myself up until I was about to reach the highest branch. Suddenly I saw two pairs of green boots in front of me. I looked up in terror.  
  
"AHHHHHHHH!!! IT'S THE GAY GUY!!!" I lost grip of the branch I was holding onto when the blond guy decided to catch me. But my hand slipped from his grip and everything went black.. 


End file.
